and the world spins madly on

I am feeling so many different things all at once lately. There is so much I need to accomplish. Stuff I really, truly need to accomplish for the world and stuff I really need to accomplish all por moi.

Every day I don’t do something I’ve promised myself I would, I feel guilty and disappointed with myself. I have always been so affected by my environment or by things that happen in my day… they throw me off and distract me from the things I need to do.

For example, I want to clean but I fight with my dad, so instead all I want to do is lie in bed and pretend like everything is okay because I’ve lost my steam to do things that are good for myself.

I don’t want to run on the treadmill because he said now that it’s in my old bedroom it sounds like the ceiling is going to fall whenever I turn it on (awesome, thanks dad). But truly, that has discouraged me from using it. So for the past week or so I haven’t. I know he doesn’t mean “Hey you’re so fat, when you run the ceiling might break” but I feel like I am inconveniencing him with the noise it makes and since I am so sensitive about not wanting to disturb him, it completely discourages me from using it at all. It sucks. It’s in the top 3 on the “Why I need to move out” list.

I am exhausted. Work was long today. Maybe more interesting topics will pop into my head tomorrow.

Bobby started his own WP.

Visit him!


One thought on “and the world spins madly on

  1. christinaheart says:

    I’m totally visiting your boyfriend!

    I feel like I have a zillion things I need to do and I always feel a little sad when I don’t complete them.

    Like, I want to exercise more, but I have zero motivation to do it because I can’t get up earlier or I might die of exhaustion and by the time I get home I just want to read and eat. And cleaning… oh my god, I’ve wanted to steal my parent’s vacuum for a week now and haven’t. I also NEED to do laundry. I hate doing laundry.

    So, I feels you.

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