and the world spins madly on

I am feeling so many different things all at once lately. There is so much I need to accomplish. Stuff I really, truly need to accomplish for the world and stuff I really need to accomplish all por moi.

Every day I don’t do something I’ve promised myself I would, I feel guilty and disappointed with myself. I have always been so affected by my environment or by things that happen in my day… they throw me off and distract me from the things I need to do.

For example, I want to clean but I fight with my dad, so instead all I want to do is lie in bed and pretend like everything is okay because I’ve lost my steam to do things that are good for myself.

I don’t want to run on the treadmill because he said now that it’s in my old bedroom it sounds like the ceiling is going to fall whenever I turn it on (awesome, thanks dad). But truly, that has discouraged me from using it. So for the past week or so I haven’t. I know he doesn’t mean “Hey you’re so fat, when you run the ceiling might break” but I feel like I am inconveniencing him with the noise it makes and since I am so sensitive about not wanting to disturb him, it completely discourages me from using it at all. It sucks. It’s in the top 3 on the “Why I need to move out” list.

I am exhausted. Work was long today. Maybe more interesting topics will pop into my head tomorrow.

Bobby started his own WP. bobby24s.wordpress.com

Visit him!

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One thought on “and the world spins madly on

  1. christinaheart says:

    I’m totally visiting your boyfriend!

    I feel like I have a zillion things I need to do and I always feel a little sad when I don’t complete them.

    Like, I want to exercise more, but I have zero motivation to do it because I can’t get up earlier or I might die of exhaustion and by the time I get home I just want to read and eat. And cleaning… oh my god, I’ve wanted to steal my parent’s vacuum for a week now and haven’t. I also NEED to do laundry. I hate doing laundry.

    So, I feels you.

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