I am feeling so many different things all at once lately. There is so much I need to accomplish. Stuff I really, truly need to accomplish for the world and stuff I really need to accomplish all por moi.
Every day I don’t do something I’ve promised myself I would, I feel guilty and disappointed with myself. I have always been so affected by my environment or by things that happen in my day… they throw me off and distract me from the things I need to do.
For example, I want to clean but I fight with my dad, so instead all I want to do is lie in bed and pretend like everything is okay because I’ve lost my steam to do things that are good for myself.
I don’t want to run on the treadmill because he said now that it’s in my old bedroom it sounds like the ceiling is going to fall whenever I turn it on (awesome, thanks dad). But truly, that has discouraged me from using it. So for the past week or so I haven’t. I know he doesn’t mean “Hey you’re so fat, when you run the ceiling might break” but I feel like I am inconveniencing him with the noise it makes and since I am so sensitive about not wanting to disturb him, it completely discourages me from using it at all. It sucks. It’s in the top 3 on the “Why I need to move out” list.
I am exhausted. Work was long today. Maybe more interesting topics will pop into my head tomorrow.
Bobby started his own WP. bobby24s.wordpress.com